The Dress
by Lazlobane
Summary: This is a one shot about a day in the life of Stephanie plum outside of her wacky adventures(and has a day off to herself) and instead takes the time to contemplate life. This is a psychological story rather than comedy, so it's rather sad. And if you wanted to know a bit more about her relationship with Richard, her ex, this is it.


I woke to the sunlight streaming in through my window. The very same window that usually gave me nightmares considering all the people who'd gotten into my apartment by going up the fire escape...but those are thoughts I've locked away, never to think about again.

I could hear a squeaking sound in the kitchen. Rex was already up and about, it seemed.

I stared up at the ceiling and couldn't help feeling something in the pit of me but I decided to contemplate later. I got up, groggy a and grumpy as per usual and went to the kitchen. I poured myself some cereal(considering that was all I had) and ate it sans milk. I went and dropped a couple in Rexs' tank and watched calmly as he stuffed them in his mouth, blinked a couple times, and darted away. I chuckled.

This was one of those rare days where I had nothing to do. I mean, sure, I could always track a couple of people who'd broken their bond agreements but I wanted a breather. Morelli was working a case he wouldn't tell me about and I hadn't seen him in a couple days. My family was busy with preparations for my latest nephew's first birthday.

Lula was probably at the mall or doing something productive. Actually, I couldn't imagine what she was up to. Considering all the random shenanigans she usually gets herself into she could be opening up a modern art studio for all I knew!

Ranger...Rnnger. I didn't know what he was up to at the moment, but best not disturb a sleeping lion.

I loitered in the living room for a little while before deciding to shower. In the bathroom I looked in the mirror and nearly scared a couple years off myself. My hair was a disaster, a certified rats nest. But I couldn't help but notice the beginnings of wrinkles at the corners of my eyes and around my mouth. I hadn't noticed I'd gotten so old. I felt a pang and jumped in the shower quickly.

I got out and, shockingly, applied a full face of makeup. Mascara, face powder, and lipstick. I jazzed up my hair with gel and hairspray, making it nice and big. Finally I went to my closet and looked at my choices. Because I'm pretty no frills I mostly had a wardrobe full of t-shirts and pants. There were few skirts and dresses. But...

Hanging at the back were two dresses I had forgotten I'd owned. My heart clenched and I felt a little light headed. One was my wedding dress. The very same I'd worn the day I'd married (and divorced) Richard. That prick. I't had totally slipped my mind I had it. I'd intended to destroy it in a very ceremonial fashion including fire and voodoo. The dress was just a reminder of the man he'd become, selfish and uncaring.

The other dress however...it was a reminder of the man he'd been. The first man I'd fallen in love with. The only man who'd made me believe in forever and in the magic of having my own family.

It was as beautiful as I remembered it. He'd bought it for me soon after we had started dating. I still remembered his silly smile and how his eyes lit as if from within. The handsomest man in the world.

I picked it up by its delicate, off the shoulder, straps and gazed at it. It was very retro in fashion. 50's pinup. It was white with big roses in a mixed pattern of dark and light blue. That summer, whenever I'd wear it, Dick would call me his Italian princess. I'd felt like one. He'd given me a delicate gold necklace too but I'd misplaced it. He couldn't afford much at the time because his company was still on the rise.

I looked at it for a while. And then put it on. It slipped over my head like silk and fit like a second skin. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked good, I looked great actually. It emphasised my almost nonexistent curved and clinched in nicely to give the illusion of a smaller waist.

I was an Italian princess.

I start down hard on the corner of my bed. All of a sudden a wash of sorrow overtook me. I didn't know when I'd started to cry or for how long I did afterwards. But looking back, it was the only time in my life I'd ever allowed myself to just stop and feel. Feel the pain of a broken heart. The betrayal, the loneliness that's always, ALWAYS, there and I never allow myself to acknowledge.

I've been broken for a long time. And lived through many events that would've mentally shattered someone else.

I couldn't believe that the thought of Richard was what finally broke me. I hated him so much. But I knew deep down that something else was still there. That was the reason I could never have a serious relationship...why even now I wouldn't marry Morelli.

I curled up on the bed and cried for the first time in what seemed like forever. Let myself release all the hurt and the anger and the regret till I was empty again and could continue with my life and 'wacky' adventures like always. Moving forward with what everyone thought was bravery, foolishnes, and the mental strength to continue living such a life.

In what seemed like an eternity later I got up from bed and changed clothes. A stretchy white shirt and black pants. I washed my face(considering all the makeup was smeared) and re-applied mascara. I looked at the dress on the bed.

I walked towards it and stroked its soft fabric. I then proceeded to hang it back up in the very back of closet. Hopefully I wouldn't see it again. But I couldn't throw it out. So I just pushed everything out of my mind once again and continued living.

No, I would never tell anyone about this. Or any of the other times i'd taken a day off for myself to contemplate and end up the same way. This isn't that kind of story after all.

No, definitely not that kind of story. The kind where the heroine has mental demons or ever thinks about the scary things. Not the kind to ever look too seriously into the future either. I'm just Stephanie Plum, bond enforcmant agent, Jersey girl, and resident trouble magnet.

And I prefered to keep it that way.


End file.
